


She Does Like Her Little Jokes

by The_Bentley



Series: Kisses Bingo Fics [16]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley Has Breasts (Good Omens), Established Relationship, F/M, Female-Presenting Crowley (Good Omens), Foreplay, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Kissing, Marriage, Massage, Party, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Pregnancy, Pregnant Crowley (Good Omens), Some Humor, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:54:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27300775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Bentley/pseuds/The_Bentley
Summary: “Can’t do this any more.  It’s too much and my back aches,” she muttered.  “Want you.  After a back rub.”“It’s all right, dear.  Let’s get back to the cottage and you can have whatever you need.”Aziraphale dotes on his pregnant wife after a party leaves her worn out. Children were never on the radar for the angel and demon - why would they when they are of a species that doesn't reproduce? - but God does have a quirky sense of humour.  And She's not through yet.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Kisses Bingo Fics [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861126
Comments: 11
Kudos: 78
Collections: Kisses Bingo





	She Does Like Her Little Jokes

**Author's Note:**

> Kisses Bingo Call: The Look Across the Room

They had got separated at the party, Aziraphale losing sight of his wife in the crowd as she was carried away by a small flock of women all excited for her. She tolerated their enthusiasm, but barely and only because they were neighbours. No need to make enemies when one was retired. Refusing to give up sexy despite her condition, she was dressed in a slinky number of dark red with her hair styled in an updo of cascading curls, a couple of them reaching down to touch her neck. The demon clutched a glass of non-alcoholic champagne in her hand, the flute turned in such a manner that light from the chandelier above them reflected through it, leaving a star-like pattern on its lip. That flash of light is what caught Aziraphale’s attention, and he started to move across the room towards her. 

She noticed him through the crowd, her golden gaze capturing his as she gave him The Look across the room — the one unmistakable look that said “come hither” without need further explanation. It was forceful, seductive and it didn’t matter that she was going through changes, some of which confused them both, that Look still only had one meaning. “I’ve better things to do than hang around this boring place for one more minute, namely you.”

He was at her side in a flash, enquiring about how she felt. Crowley handed him the champagne flute of sparkling grape juice while stating how exhausted she was feeling. Several of the women surrounding her nodded in understanding. One put a hand on her arm, patting it in sympathy.

“It’s understandable, Antonia. Just wait a month or two and you’ll have more energy than you’ll know what to do with,” she said. “Then it’ll be aches and pains as it gets closer to your due date.”

Crowley smiled politely and nodded. “Yes, I’ve heard. Anyway, it’s been a nice evening, but I do need to get some rest. Shall we, Ezra?”

They said their goodbyes before escaping out to the Bentley where Crowley leaning against the leather of the steering wheel with a sigh. 

“Can’t do this any more. It’s too much and my back aches,” she muttered. “Want you. After a back rub.”

“It’s all right, dear. Let’s get back to the cottage and you can have whatever you need.”

She started the Bentley and soon they were roaring down the road back to their own little place several miles outside of town. Once there, she stripped off the tight dress while Aziraphale removed his waistcoat and rolled up his sleeves. Clad in just her bra and knickers, she lay down on their bed facing the wall with the window. Aziraphale sat beside her, rubbing diligently at her lower back to give her some relief. He put a little healing power behind his massage to help undo her tight muscles, overworked by the presence of her swollen belly that was putting pressure on every muscle and organ in her body these days. She sighed in contentment as his fingers worked to undo knots she didn’t realize existed. 

God worked in mysterious ways and had Her sense of humour, besides. Crowley had switched to female-presenting on a whim, as she did from time-to-time, to satisfy the gender fluidity that existed within her with every intention of one day going back to male-presenting until the next urge to change it up came along. Only this time she discovered she couldn’t. Her body refused to shift, stubbornly staying female despite her best efforts. It had happened not long following their wedding, after which Crowley had also woken up one day to find that if she wanted to, she could rid herself of the vertical pupils she’d been cursed with since Eden. It proved handy for parties and the like, but she still preferred the sunglasses. They were her armour, after all.

She considered the lifting of her curse a wedding gift from the Almighty and thought nothing further about it. Aziraphale, a little more grateful than his spouse, sent a thankful little prayer to Above in hopes that She heard it. It was the first sign that everything was about to change. Then the morning sickness came and having his suspicions, Aziraphale put his hand on Crowley’s stomach to feel two spirits residing within her corporation -- her and well . . . The look she gave him when he told her was one of total incomprehension.

“That’s not funny, Aziraphale,” she had snapped.

“I am not joking!” he had protested.

But apparently God had decided to visit Her strange sense of humour upon them and give them the one thing a demon and an angel could not have — progeny. That was five months ago they had discovered the little surprise and now they were three months away from being parents. Aziraphale was both excited and terrified. Crowley was just terrified. Despite being a nanny for five years, dealing with children did not come naturally to her. Demons weren’t supposed to be good with kids and now she would have to learn how to be. Aziraphale had all the faith in the world in her ability to adapt to this new situation. She would love their future child and help Aziraphale raise them well. 

He convinced her to turn over on her back, so he could pamper her with all the touch she needed lately. She found it reassuring in this uncertain time. He started up high, kissing on her lips, passionately separating them. He could taste her and the sweetness of her drink, a far cry from the champagne she usually indulged in. She responded in kind, slipping her serpentine tongue into his mouth as her hands rose to roam over his back, tracing along his spine where he was most sensitive. Moans come from both of them, fuelling their excitement, and he abandoned her lips for more erotic areas. 

Slipping her bra off, he teased her nipples one by one, biting them until she cried out, then settling down to suck on one until her moans became screams and her caresses of him uncontrolled flailing before he moved on to the other one to shower it in the same attention. It became alert under his ministrations just as the first one, only this time Crowley didn’t need a warm-up to be shouting out her passion as he licked over it, circling her areola before nibbling carefully on the nipple itself. Nails scratched into his back as he leaned into her the best he could under the circumstances. He was off to one side, an arm over her belly stroking its taut skin as he brought her passion to the surface through his teasing. Her frame retained its skinniness despite the roundness of her abdomen; Crowley would never be anything but wiry. 

Further down he travelled, kissing lovingly over her belly, showing affection not only to her but the true miracle that resided in her womb. That impossible child that God decided they deserved. Crowley was developing a dark line that bifurcated her stomach and Aziraphale took the opportunity to kiss down it the useless bellybutton that existed simply for the reason of camouflage. He noticed it was starting to curve outward the bigger the baby in her womb grew. The angel felt the baby kick through her stomach, one small hand or foot pressing up against the tight roundness to make an odd lump near her ribs. Then he suddenly felt more movement further south near her hip and his head shot up in surprise mid-kiss. Was that down too far to be the baby? They weren't that long yet, were they? He reached out for a second time to feel for spirits within Crowley’s corporation and detected an extra one. 

_Oh, dear._

Aziraphale swallowed in panic as he looked up at her. She peered over her belly at him, puzzlement crossing her face. 

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

“Umm . . . how do you feel about twins?” He smiled nervously at Crowley.

“ _What_?”

God did move in mysterious ways, indeed.


End file.
